How often should one reinvent oneself?
If things are going great in your life, you probably need to reinvent yourself every 3-4 years. If your life is not what you want it to be, you better start right now!
Here are some symptoms to watch for:
- You feel “stuck”
- You might have several symptoms commonly associated with depression and/or anxiety.
- You do not laugh as easily as you used to
- You are drinking more (coffee or alcohol)
- People are not responding to you the way you want them to or expect them to, compared to how they used to respond. This could be people at work or your friends or your family.
- You have violated your core beliefs
- You have not taken the time to identify what you want and instead followed plans other people have for you
- You have stayed in your ugly comfort zone much too long by procrastinating, numbing yourself with drugs or alcohol, or distracted yourself with non critical projects, social media, partying or perhaps sex, instead of identifying and taking corrective action.
This is NEVER the cause:
- Somebody did something unfair to you and ruined your chances at something awesome that you deserved.
This is how victims think, and victims act as if they are powerless to correct their situation. If you want to continue thinking of yourself as a victim, there are other choices you can pick to read that will fit you better.
How can I get past this, and reinvent?
Here are some key concepts:
- Understand that negative thoughts are like weeds…there is no need to cultivate them, they just show up.
- Understand that you are not your thoughts, and you should not believe everything you think.
- Some of your thoughts are the product of old patterns and negative influences that do not serve you, let them pass!
- You will get more of what you focus on, so only think about positive things
- Gratitude and anger cannot co-exist
- Gratitude and fear cannot co-exist
Here are some simple actions to take now:
- Spend quiet time every day with no radio, phone, or internet, and observe the feelings and thoughts that show up during this quiet time.
- Do not let your thoughts and feelings take control or get you riled up during quiet time, but notice them and let them pass on their own.
- If you can do this for 30-60 minutes, you should. If you can only do it for 10 minutes, start with that.
- Read good books every day
- Self-improvement and topics that interest you
- Move every day
- Walk, ride a bike, go to a gym, whatever. Minimum 20 minutes a day, hopefully to a sweat
- Filter out all media that does not make you feel good
- My personal preference is no news, no politics, no true crime
- YouTube has great motivational videos available for free to help you keep positive thoughts in the front of your head
- Write down everything you are grateful for every morning.
- These can be things like “I am still breathing” or my car started, or I love my kids.
- Fear constrains you. “I am afraid I will be alone if I leave this relationship”.
- Flip it: “I will find my perfect partner if I leave this relationship”
It is my true hope that this post gives you what you need to start on your journey of reinvention. Please post a comment to let me know how you are doing!