Have you ever been so lost that you do not remember what you enjoy anymore?
Have you ever been so fed up with a person that you felt guilty for setting limits about how much time you will spend with them?
Have you ever known that you have to make a change in your life, and it did not matter how hard it was going to be?
I am not sure why it takes these extremes to get my attention and to make decisions, but I must own this tendency completely. I guess I never respected people who act rashly, and I over-compensate a bit by tolerating things too long and waiting to see if things improve before I act. I will also admit that it is dreadfully hard make a decision that will impact others and cause pain to the people I love the most, even if it becomes a question of survival.
For now, I only have some very limited suggestions for how to move through this period, and here they are:
- Remember, this is not permanent, it will pass.
- Get quiet, and name the fears you have. Once you see the list of worst things that could happen from your decision, you will be in a position to assess them rationally.
- Decide your preferred outcome, and act accordingly.
- Make the effort to preserve the relationships that matter to you.
- Love yourself through the process.
- Listen every day to motivational messages, laugh with friends, and find things to be grateful for.
Some suggestions for how I did these things to help myself get through a rough spot, check out the follow up post here: So…things are not right, part 2