This nugget I heard first from Dennis Prager
Money makes you more like who you are
Money makes you more
“Money is the root of all evil”. I doubt it.
“The love of money is the root of all evil”. Getting closer, but it is probably OK to want, like or love money.
With all that is written about money…all the books, all the TV shows, all the mental energy thinking about needing money, and what you would do with it if you had more, do you really believe you can boil it all down to one simple statement?
Even if you can boil it down, the resulting statement is probably not going to be very specific, so let’s start with this one:
“Money makes you more like who you are.”
For all the idealists out there who do not think money matters, or should matter, consider the following questions. If you do not think my points are valid, you should probably move on to another article to read, because you are not likely to buy into what I am saying.
- If I am dead broke, and want to support a political candidate or issue, is anyone going to be impacted by my preference? How about if I am rich and want to support a political candidate or issue?
- If I do not like the uniforms that my children’s sports team are wearing, and do not have any money, all I can do is complain about the situation, or if super motivated, I could try to organize a fundraiser. If I am rich, I can either write a check to purchase new uniforms, or I can get a few of my like-minded and well-funded friends together to pitch in a little each to get new uniforms, and write a check very quickly.
- If I like to help other people, can I do that more effectively as a broke person, or a rich person?
- If I know how to use and manage money, will wealth destroy me, or help me?
- How about if I do not know how to manage money? In that case, will sudden wealth destroy me or help me? Here is a hint: Look at what happens to most big jackpot lottery winners.
Here is a different question to think about: What would most people do if they suddenly had all the money they would ever need?
My answer is that most people would do almost nothing significant or noteworthy, at least for a year or two. It is the possibility of losing your house, affections of your wife or girlfriend, and ability to provide for your children that motivates many to get out of bed and get to work each day. In some cases, this motivation leads to extremely successful business ventures. If you take away the potential pain of those losses, most people will not know what to do anymore, and this creates a motivation vacuum. To avoid the pitfalls of new wealth, it requires adjustment to the way the nouveau riche see the world, and respond.
The fact is that many lottery winners and short careered professional athletes lose all that money, and end up broke. There are some likely explanations for this, most common-sense, but also likely to be viewed as elitist or some other “-ist” label that weak-minded people need to apply to prevent challenges to their feeble perspective of the world. So, I will assert a few ideas, and you can decide if you buy in or not:
- There is something that happens to a person who earns a lot of money, during the process of learning how to earn that money, that helps that person manage and maintain wealth. In a normal scenario, it takes a lot of time and effort to become wealthy, and you have to become a wealthy person, and part of becoming that is to develop different habits and perspective.
- If you give a teenager a house, they do not know how to maintain that house, and will either let it fall into disrepair, or get taken advantage, or in rare cases, they will see their deficiency and start to seek out the knowledge required to maintain a house. Same thing with money. The key difference between a house and money is that money is much more mobile and liquid than a home, so it tends to leave a careless person’s wallet very quickly.
- Lottery winners and short-term professional athletes tend to be either less educated than other wealthy people and/or have less time invested in gaining and managing money compared to other rich people.
- For example a business owner who find success probably spent years working 60-100 hour weeks building that business…and he or she learned a lot along the way during that time, and a smooth talker is not going to roll them out of their money as easily as a lottery winner!
- If a person is to keep their new found wealth, they must change the way they view money, and the way they interact with the world! Failing to do this, they will tend to return to their “normal” financial status (see introducing-the-thermostat for more about this).
Most of us will not win the lottery…if for no other reason, I forget to play most of the time, and will not make a special trip because of the low chance of winning anyway!
So, for most of us who want to acquire wealth, we have to become something different in order to have a different life. This means developing different work habits, different and more positive ideas about what to do with our time, and changing our views and relationship with money. If you are rejecting money because you think it is evil, you are going to have a hard time creating wealth. Money is a tool, and it does what its owner tells it to. Period. Get right with that idea, then decide what you want.
Introducing…the thermostat
Why we have thermostats
We get used to a certain temperature, and have invented a device to make sure that our living spaces stay with a certain range that we find comfortable.
Not just a device, but a model for how people behave
What if people have metaphorical thermostats that regulate the “temperature” of every major area of our lives? Think about the questions below:
- How emotionally am you with my friends, significant other, or co-workers?
- How much stress do you experience regularly when working on a challenging project?
- How much money pressure do you experience each week or month?
- Are you wanting to meet new people, but not connecting?
Passive comfort zone, or active control of temperature?
Sometimes the answers to these questions are described as habits or comfort zones, but I think thermostat is more fitting. A habit or comfort zone implies passivity and a tendency of something to remain constant, but a thermostat is a device that actively sets in motion, events to bring the temperature to a specific level. It is as if when you set out to make changes to some area of your life, there is something actively trying to return you to your previous setting.
If you are in a room and are cold, you can easily get more comfortable by putting on a sweater, but you are not changing the temperature of the room. What if the room is very hot, and you are already naked? How will you get comfortable now? In that case, the only solution is to change the temperature of the room.
Two examples that everyone should recognize
Let’s say that you decide to reduce the amount of stress you feel about finances, by having more money left over after you pay your bills. To spend less money, you make a plan to pack your lunch instead of going out. Your normal lunch buddies tease you a bit and try to coax you out to lunch with them. Its a small thing, but the teasing by your coworkers is an influence that seeks to prevent you from changing your “financial temperature”.
Now, what if you are wanting to meet new people, but like many people, you are not very confident approaching them. What happens when you see an interesting person you would like to approach? Does your inner voice immediately start telling you that she does not want to talk to people? Do you stop before you start, thinking that you cannot think of something to say? How do you know she does not want to meet you? If she has closed off body language and is wearing headphones, you might be right to hesitate, but if her body language is neutral, it is really a coin toss as to whether or not she would want to talk to you. The only way to solve a coin-toss is to flip the coin, so you need to act!
What to do!
If you get paralyzed when you see someone interesting, and are analyzing yourself and telling yourself that the new person will not be interested in you, your own thoughts are the thermostat that is controlling you. Shut down those thoughts and tell yourself things that are helpful…perhaps something like, “she is just a person in the same room as me…I will smile, say hello and introduce myself”. Then do those things. Smile, say hello and introduce yourself.
It really is OK
While it feels awkward to many people today, consider this: Until people moved to big cities in the past 10 years or so, the self-introduction to new people was polite and expected behavior! It is normal and human! Count how many people you can do this with in one evening so that it is no longer a big deal, and so you do not care about the outcome of any single attempt. I bet nothing really bad happens, and you might find that some of those people will try to keep talking to you, because they want to meet people too but were not sure how to start.
Conclusion
I believe we can beat all of your thermostats and make whatever changes we decide to make. First, you have to identify your own thermostats that are regulating the areas of your life. Then you can think of some actions you can take every day which will alter your default settings and behaviors in those areas. This can make your life more the way you want it to be. If you take steps each day toward the change, persistence wins. In time, you will recognize your own personal thermostats, and be able to change those by taking action each day to make the temperature right for you!
Figure out what you really want
Best advice ever
- « Previous Page
- 1
- …
- 5
- 6
- 7
- 8
- 9
- …
- 11
- Next Page »